The Unchurched Next Door

Please note: This transcript is provided as close to verbatim record of the sermon.

The Unchurched Next Door

Introduction

Good morning. Today I want to share about something very simple. I hope it will touch you, and touch every one of us: how God sees the people around us, and how we can join Him in reaching out to them.

Every day we pass by people who are at different stages of their spiritual journey. Some are curious, some are cautious, some are hurting, some are resisting, and some are searching for hope but do not know where to look. They are our neighbours at different stages of faith, at different stages of their spiritual journey. They are not saved, but we are called to love them. We are called to share the gospel with them. They are the unchurched next door.

The Lord gave us the great commandment: to love Him and to love our neighbour, and then the Great Commission: to make disciples of all nations. Actually, all these things are summed up in one verse: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” As we love God, the response will be loving our neighbour. And the Great Commission of making disciples is really an application of that.

This book, The Unchurched Next Door, written by Thom Rainer, was published in 2008. In it, he conducted a survey of American Christians—several hundreds of them. He interviewed them and identified five faith stages of the unchurched. His study helps us understand the mindset of the unchurched, how the unchurched at different stages respond to the gospel.

“Unchurched” simply refers to those who seldom attend church—maybe once a year, maybe only on Christmas and Easter. The unchurched are not what we think they are. They are not hostile. They are not unreachable. In fact, they are people like us. They are our neighbours, our colleagues, our friends, our relatives—people who share our values, people who have the same hopes, people who struggle with the same issues, including the cost of living, as we just mentioned.

Most of the unchurched are not anti-church. In fact, many have a positive view of the Bible and of Christianity. They are not running away from God. In many cases, they are waiting to be invited by us.

The purpose of this sharing is to find out what is truly in the mind of the unchurched and how we can reach them. I will also share about the unchurched in Cambodia and the unchurched in Singapore.

The Five Stages of the Unchurched

Thom Rainer classified the unchurched into five categories. These categories show that people are at different stages of openness and receptivity to the gospel. It is like a door: some doors are fully shut, and some doors are wide open.

1. U5: Highly Antagonistic

In U5, they are highly antagonistic people. They are hostile to the gospel. An example is Saul the apostle, when he persecuted the Christians.

2. U4: Resistant

Then we have the next category. They are resistant to the gospel, but they are not antagonistic. They are like the rich young ruler who came to Jesus, but actually was not believing in Jesus. He just came to Jesus with some questions.

3. U3: Neutral

Then there are the neutral people. They have no clear sign of interest, but they are open to discussion. If you talk to them, they do not mind engaging in a conversation with you. Like the Samaritan woman—she was actually not interested, but she was neutral. She was going about her everyday life, drawing water, and then met this rabbi by the well and started a conversation.

4. U2: Receptive

Then there are people who are receptive to the gospel. Cornelius—he was perhaps reading the Scriptures, the Old Testament, but he had not yet taken some positive action. Still, he was open.

5. U1: Highly Receptive

Then there are those who are fruit ready to be plucked—highly receptive and waiting to believe—like the Philippian jailer: “What must I do to be saved?”

Some Findings About the Unchurched

Some interesting facts were discovered by Thom Rainer.

He says that the research showed that unchurched people prefer to go to church on Sunday morning. I guess most people think church is on Sunday morning, and this is very suitable for us because we meet on Sunday morning.

He also found that females tend to be both the most antagonistic and the most receptive.

Church can be intimidating. Many anxious people feel nervous about walking into a church, and the biggest fear is that they cannot fit in. So a warm, friendly, personal invitation from a friend makes a difference—especially sitting with your friend.

Most are waiting to be invited. Some say they are likely to attend. In fact, the probability is that if you invite somebody who is in U1 to U3, there is an 80% chance they will accept your invitation.

Invitation is the missing link, because they are simply not invited. In the case of Cambodia, verbal invitation is not enough. We must write an invitation card. Better still, put their name on it. When they receive a card like this, they will turn up.

Very few unchurched people who are highly receptive are still waiting to be invited, and worse, nobody actually sits down and shares the gospel with them.

Another finding is that they have a very positive view of church workers and ministers. But uninvited cold calls are not effective. If you have not befriended them, and suddenly there is an Easter gospel meeting and you start inviting them, or somebody just knocks on the door and wants to share the gospel—these are not effective. They do not respond well to that.

Many are concerned for their children. Parents are often more concerned about their children’s spiritual well-being than their own. So children’s ministry, Sunday school, and similar works are ways to open doors to link with the unchurched.

They are also open to prayer. So whenever we meet people, at the end of a conversation or at the end of a meal, we can ask, “How can I pray for you?” Most of them do not hesitate to share some prayer requests, and then we can pray for them. That prayer is very powerful.

Try to understand their mindset. Most of them believe in heaven and hell—especially those from U1 to U4. In Cambodia, almost everybody believes in heaven and hell. This is a good start, because they are interested in spiritual things. They are concerned about where they will be after they die.

They prefer to talk to a lay person. Thankfully, we do not have so-called full-time pastors only doing this work; we are ordinary Christians. When we talk to them, they feel more comfortable, and they are open to sharing their personal story with us, and open to listening to our story.

Many of our neighbours may even wonder why we have not invited them. We live in HDB flats, and we have neighbours above, beside, left, and right. Normally we meet them in the lift and say hello, but we never invite them to church, or invite them for a meal. Sometimes, according to the survey, they are wondering, “They are Christians. How come they are not inviting us?” They know Christians like to invite people, but we do not invite our neighbours.

Occasions like Christmas and Easter are the best times to invite them because of the season. They feel that Christmas is the best time to go to church, and they do not mind coming. Next week is Easter, and we have all these nice programmes. Please invite them.

They are nervous, but they are willing. Unchurched people are nervous about talking about their faith. But if you engage them in conversation casually, they can sense our interest in them, and with no pressure they are willing to engage in the conversation.

People Move from One Stage to Another

In the parable of the sower, the Lord Jesus Christ shared the story of the sower scattering seed into different types of ground. These grounds represent different heart conditions. Some are hard ground, rocky ground, thorny ground; and then, as the soil is cultivated, it becomes good soil and produces fruit.

The unchurched person who is U5, antagonistic, will not stay in that position forever. They can move. They can be cultivated and become good soil.

I remember my own father. We tried to preach the gospel to him, and he was very against us. When he turned 70, he told us, “Don’t ever share the gospel with me. Don’t put a gospel tract in the drawer. Don’t open the Bible on the table for me to read. Don’t try again. I’m already 70 years old.”

So we stopped. Nobody shared the gospel with him.

Then when he turned 75, on his birthday, he asked, “How come nobody shares the gospel with me? Today I am 75 years old.” My brother told him, “You said we shouldn’t share with you.” He replied, “Tonight, I want to believe in Jesus.”

He jumped into U1, ready. Then he prayed to receive Christ, and the following Sunday he was baptised. Thank God for that. They move. They do not stay where they are.

Understanding the Five Categories More Clearly

U1: Waiting on You

U1 are the people waiting on you. They are highly receptive to hearing the gospel and to believing the good news. They know some religious terms—grace, justification, and all that. They have heard these things, but they are not clear. They do not know the details. Yet they are ready to respond. They are ready to ask, seek, and knock, because they know the door will be opened to them.

What is stopping them is that nobody is asking them. Nobody is telling them to believe, or giving them a nudge, or inviting them. They are waiting for us to pluck them.

U2: Seekers

The U2 are the seekers. They are receptive to the gospel and to the church, but they believe in good works. They believe, “I have to be good enough to be saved.” But they are eager to study the Bible.

If you invite them into some kind of home setting, Bible study, workplace setting, or simply for coffee or tea—where the barrier of entry is low—they are open.

I invited the banker where I bank my money in Cambodia, and I asked him, “Would you like to study the Bible with me?” He said, “You are willing to teach me?” I said, “Yes.” And now we are having Bible study with him.

U3: Learners and the Apathetic

The U3 are the learners and the apathetic. They are neutral. They have no sign of interest, but they are open. They are very busy with everyday life. They feel that at this stage of life they do not need religion. They are lukewarm. They are neutral.

If you ask them questions, they give you monosyllabic responses—yes, no, and so on. So for us, we need to be patient. We need to continue to engage them and pray for them. Consistency is important. Then the day will come when they may move on to U2 and then to U1.

U4: Resistant but Not Unfriendly

U4 are the resistant people. They are resistant to the gospel, but they are not unfriendly. They are not antagonistic. They believe Jesus is a good teacher, but not God. They dislike the idea that Jesus is the only way. They think all religions are the same.

But if we keep asking, keep praying, and keep sharing our story, our experience, our struggles in life, and how the gospel is relevant to us, they may move on to U3.

U5: Antagonistic

U5 are very antagonistic people. Usually they do not believe in hell. They may be more educated and wealthy, and they resist organised religion. They can be quite argumentative.

For such people, we have to be wise in presenting evidence. We can share books like The Case for Christ or Mere Christianity. If they bother to read, they may be able to see that Christianity is more than just a religion.

So do not give up on the U5. God did not give up on Paul the apostle.

The Unchurched in Cambodia

In Cambodia, when we look at the unchurched, it goes beyond just attending church services. Cambodian people are very concerned with their identity as Cambodian. They think that a Cambodian must be Buddhist. Because of that, they think Christianity is a foreign religion, and so they may not be so welcoming or open to receiving the gospel.

So we look at them in a somewhat different way.

U1 in Cambodia: Hope Seekers

These are the people who are highly receptive. We call them the hope seekers. Because of some life challenge—maybe sickness, maybe an encounter with evil spirits, maybe miraculous healing—they feel, “Wow, this Christian God is real. He is powerful.” They are open to joining this new Christian community, and they are ready to join us if we invite them.

U2 in Cambodia: Open Through Friendship

The U2 are open because of the friendships we have developed through non-government organisations—through schools, providing clean water, medical help, vocational training, and so on. Because of contact with Christian organisations and charity work, they are open to Christians telling them about Jesus’ story. They have trust in us, and as the relationship develops, they are open to our invitation.

U3 in Cambodia: Modern Pragmatists

The U3 are the modern pragmatists. They are mainly young professionals and students. They are focused on life, on doing well, on being successful, on becoming rich. Many of these are in the big cities in Phnom Penh. They view Christianity as a Western religion.

Sometimes, however, they may think, “If I study Christianity, maybe it will help me in my career. If I understand the teaching of the Bible, it may help me.” So for such people, we need to engage them, interest them, and share with them the content of the Bible.

Just like this banker—he said he wants to know the Bible because he thinks it can help him make better decisions as a banker.

U4 in Cambodia: Resistant Because Christianity Seems Foreign

Then the U4 are those who resist so-called Christianity because they think it is a foreign religion. They are polite, but they may not join us because they feel that if somebody becomes a Christian, then they cannot engage in ancestor worship. For Cambodians, ancestor worship and praying for the dead are very important.

U5 in Cambodia: Protectors of Cambodian Culture

Then the U5 are those who want to protect Cambodian culture. They may persecute relatives and friends who go to church or embrace the Christian faith. They will stop them because they feel Cambodia has nothing to do with Christianity.

A Rough Picture in Cambodia

So in the Cambodian context, only about 2 to 5% are considered receptive, about 20 to 30% neutral, 50 to 60% resistant, and 5 to 10% antagonistic.

So we need to develop strategies for reaching Cambodia.

Strategies for Cambodia

In our strategy, we try to reach the U3 and U2 so that they become U1 through projects like education, clean water, medical help, and so on. Then we invite people to a Discovery Bible Study. This allows the unchurched to come and explore, just reading the Bible in a very low-pressure environment—preferably not in the church, but perhaps in a restaurant or at their place.

There should also be a focus on youth. In Cambodia, the median age is about 24 to 25. More than 50% of the people are young, and they are interested in learning English, learning computer skills, IT, AI, and enrichment programmes. Through such programmes we are able to build relationships, engage them, and make them more receptive to the gospel.

Social media is also important. Though Cambodia may not be as developed as Singapore, more than 70% of Cambodians are on Facebook. So we need to use Facebook and social media to reach people. They are already reading about our website or Facebook page before they even come and visit our church. So we need to have a presence on social media.

Challenges in Cambodia

One challenge in Cambodia is syncretism. There is a mixture of beliefs. They are not so clear about the gospel, and when they believe in Jesus, they may treat Jesus as one of the gods. They may continue many Buddhist practices, even though they say they believe in Jesus.

During funerals, most of the Christians may still participate in burning joss paper and other rituals. So they are not very clear about their beliefs.

Another reason is the education level. There is a lack of depth in literacy. Even in our church there are some people who cannot read the Bible at all. And those who can read may still find it hard to understand doctrine taught in a systematic or deeper manner. They are unable to grasp all these concepts easily.

Another challenge is what I call a dependency syndrome. Many become very receptive because of some benefits: “If I join your church, I can get employment,” or “I can get sponsorship for my children,” and so on. This is the rice-Christian syndrome. When the rice stops, they also stop coming.

For those who truly believe, it is difficult for them to bear fruit because of persecution and also economic pressure. Many young people, when they go to Phnom Penh to study, lose contact with the church because they are so busy making money to support themselves.

There is also a vacuum of leadership in the church. We find very few men who are able to lead because a generation of educators was killed by the communists. This is our challenge in Cambodia.

The Unchurched in Singapore

Now I want to talk about Singapore, using the same categories, and from some research I have done.

U1 in Singapore: Highly Receptive

In the highly receptive category, they are about 12 to 15%. This is quite close to the Christian population. In Singapore, about 19% of the population are Christians. These are the people who, at some stage in life, may experience transition—newly married, perhaps just retired—and at this stage they are very open to the gospel.

So the strategy is simple: invite them. They are waiting for your invitation. Do not hesitate. Reach out to them. At most they may say, “No, I’m so busy.” Talk to our neighbours and ask them warmly. They are ready to respond.

U2 to U3 in Singapore: A Big Group

The U2 to U3 category in Singapore is a big group—about 55 to 65%. These are people who are not against the church, but many find it unnecessary because they are busy with the good life in Singapore. Usually they say they are busy. But they are open to activities they think may be interesting.

We have lots of these activities here: yam cha, cooking class, gym, sports, English, health talks, parenting talks, and so on. Better still if we hold these meetings in a neutral place—maybe in a community centre, in a hotel, and so on—where they feel less pressure in joining.

U4 in Singapore: Resistant but Respectful

The U4 are those who are resistant, but in Singapore people are generally not so hostile. They may not believe, but they are still friendly to us because there is mutual respect among people from different religions.

So they are open to apologetics topics, dialogue, coffee talks, and Q&A sessions. These are ways we can reach the U4.

U5 in Singapore: A Smaller Group

Of course the U5, thankfully, are a small percentage. They are resistant, but in the Singapore context they are rarely angry. They may cling to their own traditions and beliefs, especially older people. But as they get older, sometimes their resistance also drops.

So we need to continue in consistent outreach—befriend them, provide food, visitation, and so on—to demonstrate sincere care and concern for these people.

Our Response: Strategies for Reaching the Unchurched

So in summary, we should have strategies to reach the unchurched.

Identify your friends, and think about them. You can classify them in your mind. Are they in U1? If they are in U1, they are ready and softened; their hearts are softened. Invite them: come and see, come and believe in Jesus.

Those who are in U2 and U3—try to engage their real interests and needs. Jesus met people where they were. Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well. So we should meet them where they are.

Every morning I go for my morning walk, and I see that there are a lot of people gathering to exercise. So we can reach these people while doing exercise. Meet them where they are. Engage with them there. Start telling your story and try to invite them.

Our job is to do the planting, do the watering, and then at the right time God will give the growth. So we need to know where people are, and then apply the right strategy to cultivate their hearts, and at the right time harvest them.

Conclusion

So to recap the points I am making: the unchurched are not what we think. Most unchurched people are not hostile to the faith. They are waiting to be invited. They have a very positive view, and they are generally open to conversations. They are at different stages in their spiritual journey. If we understand where they are, then we will be sensitive to them and apply different strategies to cultivate the relationship and bring them to the Lord Jesus.

We need to understand the cultural context where they are. And of course we need to be faithful in presenting the gospel, so that we do not water down the content of the gospel. If we are sensitive to them and present the gospel in the right way, they will be more comfortable to accept our invitation, and they will be more open to believe.

The invitation part is our move. We have to do something. Most of us, in our life, seldom invite people to church. We seldom engage our neighbour next door about the gospel. We are very busy with our friends and so on. But God has placed us in a flat with neighbours at the left and right, and they should be our target. We should start praying for them and see how we can reach them.

The unchurched next door need Christ. They are waiting to hear from you.

Eighty percent of the population in Singapore are unchurched. And among these 80%, the majority are open to the Christian faith. Fifteen percent are ready to be invited. They are like the Philippian jailer.

We have all these wonderful programmes, and many of us see the programme and say, “Oh, it’s a good programme.” But if nobody invites our friends, the class will be empty. So let us do our part by inviting our friends to the meetings.

The Lord says, “Do not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest.’ Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest.” The field is always white. They are waiting for us. We are the harvesters.

Instead of praying, “Lord, send someone to share the gospel with them,” the Lord has already placed them next to us—left and right. Our response should be: “Send me. Here I am.”

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, we thank You for the gospel that we believe. Somebody shared the gospel with us many years ago, and we have trusted in Christ. It is so good to know You, to be Christian, to have a Christian community, to have a family, to have a church where we call one another brothers and sisters.

Sometimes in our comfortable position, we forget about others—our neighbours, the unchurched next door. So Lord, lift up our eyes. Help us to see. Help us to have a burden for them, and to be able to understand and discern the different stages of their spiritual journey. Give us wisdom and courage to reach out and invite them.

We pray that You will help us so that this assembly will become evangelistic, and that many people will come to know the Lord Jesus through our witness, with Your help. We pray this in the precious name of the Lord Jesus. Amen.