Eshet Hayil: The Woman of Valour

Please note: This transcript is provided as close to verbatim record of the sermon.

Proverbs 31: The Poem of Praise to Lady Wisdom

(with reflections on stewardship, trust, and the fear of the Lord)

Good morning everyone. And yeah, before we start, I apologize if I need to clear my throat more often than usual because I’m still recovering from a slight food allergy. It started on Friday.

And for this kind of passage—the passage that I’m going to talk about—definitely we cannot cover within 30 minutes. So this is an advanced announcement for those of you who want to go into more in-depth Bible study: come and join the Thursday Bible reading at 8:00 p.m. online.

Okay. Before we start, let’s have a word of prayer.

Opening Prayer
Heavenly Father, we give You thanks once again for all that You have done for us freely—that salvation is by grace, and our eternal life and our assurance even in this temporal earthly life is also by grace. And thank You for our spiritual blessings even now as we look into this passage in Proverbs 31. We pray that You’ll give us spiritual wisdom and understanding to understand this context of this poem which is written so long ago, and pray that You’ll help us to grow in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ through this message as well as for the rest of this year. We give thanks and pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

A New Year Blessing and Reflection

So good morning again everyone, and blessed new year in Christ to all of you. And I feel that it’s also good that we return a blessing unto the Lord. So I’ll read from Psalm 89:53:

“Baruk Adonai leolam. Amen. Amen.”
The translation is: Blessed be the Lord unto eternity. Amen and amen.

Even as we give thanks unto the Lord for the past year, besides mentioning some things we need to do right, in the past year we recall God’s blessings, and we have a time of reflection and thanksgiving. We also usually have spring cleaning and packing, and also check our finances and do some budgeting—especially during this period many need to give angpows. So we need to budget how much to give, how much we can afford to give, etc. And even more so for maybe those newly married last year or the last two years—first, second time you give angpows—definitely we need more prudence, foresight, and wisdom to keep our finances healthy.

Even as our government also debates the national budget, we need prayers for all these. We need practical and earthly wisdom for managing temporal resources like money.

Last Sunday our brother Chee Hwee also exhorted us and reminded us from Ephesians chapter 1 to pray more faithfully and fervently, specifically for spiritual wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Christ.

So in this new year, we also need practical and heavenly wisdom—asking for spiritual and eternal resources like a deeper knowledge and understanding of Christ.

Stewardship and Shrewdness

Of particular interest to me is that our Lord Jesus Christ Himself uses the unjust but shrewd steward in Luke 16 to teach His disciples and us an important management truth, as our assembly is also focusing on stewardship this year.

Without going into details, in Luke 16 Jesus clearly wanted His disciples to be loyal to Him, not money, as well as manage temporal resources shrewdly. And to be shrewd means to have sharp powers of judgment. You need to have a lot of experience. You need to know how to make judgments on short notice when information is not a lot—when a lot of information is hidden or unknown.

And in the original Greek, to be shrewd is not only to have wisdom but also to have understanding and insight—understanding and insight.

So this brings us back to the ancient collection of Proverbs where wisdom, understanding, and insight are mentioned right in the introduction.

Proverbs: Wisdom and the Fear of the Lord

I read from Proverbs chapter 1 verse 2:

“To know wisdom and instruction,
to discern the sayings of understanding,
to give prudence to the naive,
to the youth knowledge and discretion…
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

So a quick summary of Proverbs is that these two big themes—wisdom and the fear of the Lord—are, according to this commentary, practically synonymous. Practically they are the same.

And although wisdom is sometimes fairly hard to understand, practically wisdom is related to following the order set and designed by God. For example, from the very start God decided and designed the daily and weekly cycle: the daily cycle—“evening and morning is one day”—and the weekly cycle where the seventh day is set apart for rest.

We recently studied Genesis chapter 1 and 2 and we are reminded of that. And as we read Proverbs chapter 3:19–20:

“The Lord by wisdom founded the earth;
by understanding He established the heavens;
by His knowledge the depths were broken up,
and the skies drip with dew.”

So this is also a reminder that the Lord by wisdom and knowledge manages and controls the natural cycles that we see.

Proverbs 31 as the Climax: A Poem of Praise to Lady Wisdom

Specifically today I would like us to consider the poem of praise to lady wisdom at the very end—Proverbs 31.

Throughout the book of Proverbs, there’s this lady figure called wisdom who helps kings and judges to rule well. You can turn to Proverbs 8:14–16 in your free time. And tomorrow is a holiday, right? So definitely you have free time. So I urge you to consider that.

When we come to this poem in Proverbs 31, wisdom displays itself as a virtuous woman managing the resources of her lord within their very big estate—all the resources that they have—and her good works and service is of such high quality that it allows her lord to do other things like sit among the old people of the land.

Although it sounds like some coffee shop uncle you see drinking tea and coffee, this phrase in the Bible—“sit among the elders of the land”—has a special meaning, as we’ll consider later.

Indeed, the lord has full confidence in her.

And certainly trust is an important factor in any friendship or relationship, but especially between husbands and wives because as we read in Genesis 2:24, husbands and wives are considered one flesh. And this is also taught by the Lord Jesus and the apostle Paul in Matthew 19:5 and Ephesians 5:31.

This should remind us—I want us to recall—that back in 2021 we studied the headship of Christ under the theme “edification,” and all these issues have to do with Proverbs 31.

In our discussion in 2021, the best example of trust is between the Father and the Son when Jesus went to the cross and He was willing to die on a cross fully trusting in His Father’s plan.

But besides the cross, we are also reminded in Luke 24:19: “the things about Jesus the Nazarene, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word in the sight of God and all the people.” That phrase “mighty in deed and word” describes the Lord Jesus. And also as we read Proverbs 31, we’ll see that it also describes this woman of valor—very courageous and skillful.

So anyway, let us go back to the poem. We’ll see that the trust level between the woman and her lord is consistent with what we see between Christ and our Father.

How to Read This Woman: Role Model, Heroic Figure, and Wisdom Incarnate

I’d like to focus on this quote:

“The valiant wife has been canonized as a role model for all Israel for all time.”
And linking to the Old Testament, it also applies to the church. Wise daughters aspire to be like her. Wise sons seek to marry her. And all wise people aim to incarnate her values—that means to live out wisdom. And the Lord Jesus Himself is the perfect example of this high standard of trust between relationships.

A few years ago at Thursday Bible reading, we finished the study of Proverbs. And there are many different ways to look at this woman. Is she a real woman or not?

Traditionally even to today, Jewish people recite this poem in Proverbs 31. This poem is recited by husbands and children at the Sabbath table on Friday nights—before the seventh day—no doubt in appreciation of the wives and mothers who prepared their meal.

But beyond thanking the important woman in our lives, what is the basic meaning and significance of this poem?

To give us a clue: the valorous wife is a heroic figure used by God to do good for His people, just as the ancient judges and kings did good for God’s people by their warring and their fighting for their country.

And why is she called the valorous wife or valiant wife? It is because the language used in the poem—if you look at the original Hebrew and compare it with the other usage of these words—it shows us that these words, like making and managing, relate to warfare.

And these comments show us that excellence and valor has a practical and good effect not just in ancient times but also now—not just in warfare but also in the home—because in Proverbs 31 these words are used to describe the woman of valor. And this is confirmed by the fact that the word hayil, translated “excellent” or “worthy” in the English Bible, is used mainly of strong and powerful armies.

Ruth as a Woman of Valor: Warfare of Faith

Specifically, Ruth the Moabitess is mentioned as an eshet hayil—exact phrase in Proverbs 31:10—a woman of valor and worth.

And in what way do we see warfare in Ruth’s life? Her courage to leave her Moabite family and hometown seems unreasonable and illogical. Because when we examine and consider Naomi’s life and witness in Ruth chapter 1, we will find much difficulty in finding any reason whatsoever for Ruth’s extraordinary courage and conviction in following Naomi back to Bethlehem, to Israel, away from her hometown.

Indeed, Ruth’s conviction and actions to leave Moab with an old and bitter woman, and also without her other sister-in-law, can probably be explained only by genuine childlike faith in the God of Israel.

This is similar to Rahab who believes simply by hearing what God had done in delivering the Israelites out of Egypt by the signs and through the sea. And also similar to Abraham who was willing to leave his family, relatives, and hometown with hardly any details from God—just by faith.

So we see a similar warfare—the faith warfare, the spiritual warfare—in the life of Daniel. You can read Daniel chapter 9 and 10, and also Ephesians 6:10–20.

May we persevere valiantly in this warfare of faith, especially for our unsafe relatives. A reminder for this special period of the year where the only public holiday which has two days is the Lunar New Year in Singapore. May God give us opportunities to witness of Him and also wisdom to glorify Him whenever we meet our relatives and friends.

Reading Proverbs 31 with a New Testament Lens

Let’s go on to consider the present context.

In the poem, lady wisdom is described as being super skillful and very good at managing things. And as I mentioned in the introduction, she’s managing them for her lord or husband.

So in the New Testament in Ephesians 5:30–32, we are given this very special commentary by the apostle Paul: that the church is the bride of Christ, and the Lord Jesus is her Lord. So I would like to consider this poem with this context.

Point 1: The Valiant Kingmaker Is Absolutely Trusted and Valued

As we read, we see in the first part, verse 10 to 12, that the kingmaker—the wife—is absolutely trusted and valued by her owner.

Interestingly, the word used is not the common word for husband, ishi, but the word baal.

So this relates to the consideration we have in 1 and 2 Kings where especially the prophet Elijah does the battle with the prophet of Baal. Baal as a proper noun in the Bible is used of the Canaanite idol. But baal as a Hebrew word is also used to represent a lord and owner. So this is a very special use of this word.

Although many English Bibles will translate “husband,” actually the meaning is “lord.” And this again links us to Ephesians chapter 5: the Lord Jesus is both the husband and Lord of the church.

Let’s read verse 10 to 12:

“The excellent wife who can find?
For her worth is above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
all the days of her life.”

“All the days of her life”—again it’s mentioned in absolute terms. He has full trust in her, and not just for the first year of their marriage or first ten years of their life together, but all the days of her life.

She is a trustworthy companion and manager of her lord and husband’s property and money.

So point number one: the valiant kingmaker is absolutely trusted and valued by her owner and king.

Point 2: Her Hands and Her Household

As we look into the details in verse 13 to 15:

“She looks for wool and flax
and works with her hands in delight.
She is like merchant ships;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises also while it is night
and gives food to her household
and portions to her maidens.”

As I sum up: she’s hardworking, resourceful, and caring.

And as we read through this poem, take note of these two key words: hands and household.

Verse 13: “She works with her hands in delight.” It’s repeated.
Verse 15: “She gives food to her household.” Again repeated.

Maybe this sounds ordinary, but the point is she does it with resources from afar, and she does it with joy.

Point 3: A Capable Manager and a Woman of Action

Verse 16 to 18:

“She considers a field and buys it;
from her earnings”—literally, “from the fruit of her hands”—“she plants a vineyard.”

From the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. This is where, in the original Hebrew, the description relates to warfare. She senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night. She’s hardworking, and she doesn’t mind hardship.

Point 4: The Central Picture—Her Hands Extend to Work and Mercy

Verse 19 and 20 are central, and notice again the emphasis on hands:

“She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
and her hands grasp the spindle.”

The distaff and spindle are just parts of the sewing work—modern terms, parts of the sewing machine.

Verse 20:

“She extends her hand to the poor,
and she stretches out her hands to the needy.”

So she not only makes her own clothes—and we’ll see later she provides not only food but clothes for her household—she also takes care of the poor. And this is a reminder from the Lord Himself that the second greatest commandment is “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

And she lives it out with her actions, and she does it personally.

I emphasize: she personally helps the poor, just like she personally makes clothes and bed covers. She’s prepared for her household.

Point 5: Provision, Wealth, and Honor at the Gates

Verse 21 and 22:

“She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed with scarlet”—or with double protection, double lining.
“She makes coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.”

So she is not a lady of the working class; she is actually a wealthy landowner. If previously you were not sure, verse 22 confirms it: fine linen and purple were really expensive in those days.

All these contributes to verse 23:

“Her husband is known in the gates,
when he sits among the elders of the land.”

So as I mentioned, he’s not just lim kopi and drinking a beer or wine. From the ancient context, like in the book of Ruth, especially Ruth chapter 4, the city gates is where legal decisions are made and judgments are ruled.

New Testament archaeology also shows the Greeks also have similar judgment seats—public judgment seats near the marketplace, somewhere prominent in the open place.

So her husband is ruling among others.

Then verse 24 returns to trade:

“She makes linen garments and sells them;
and supplies belts to the Canaanites.”

The literal words in Hebrew: she gives belts to the Canaanites. If you read other descriptions, the Canaanites also do trade in the city gates.

Point 6: Strength, Dignity, Wisdom in Speech

Verse 25 brings us to another level:

“Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she smiles at the future.”

I began with managing finances in the new year. “Smiling at the future” means she is confident to face any problem or situation in the future. Strength and dignity are her clothing—again reflecting the language of warfare.

From here, pay attention: before it was her hands; now pay attention to her mouth and her lips.

Verse 26:

“She opens her mouth in wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

She not only does things very well; she is also able to teach in wisdom. The exact phrase in Hebrew is Torat chesed. Torah means the law—the first five books of the Bible—but here she is giving instruction: teaching in kindness, about kindness, about loving others.

Guess who she’s teaching? But anyway, verse 27 gives a preview:

“She looks well to the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

She looks well to the habits, to the going in and going out. She takes care not just of food and clothing, but also their habits—sleeping habits, work habits, study habits, and so on. That is the underlying principle of “the ways of her household.”

So her self-management is very good, then her household’s—her maidens are taken care of, the poor are taken care of. And this is a picture, when I jump to the parallel, to the church: this is what the Lord Jesus requires of us as His hands and feet in this world—to glorify Him in all our good works, to be wise in managing resources.

We continually pray for our deacons in building management and financial management, and this is also so that we will be confident to face the future.

Our hope—our confidence—is never ever in how well our country is doing, how well we are doing in our job, how well we are doing in studies. Although those may be important, we are looking to the wisdom of God because only God is eternal. Only God can promise us a guaranteed future because He has really guaranteed eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

What a great God.

So as we go into this new year, we have reflections and thanksgivings to do. And as we do reflection and thanksgiving, let us look unto the Lord of the future because He knows the end from the beginning. He is the only one who knows the end from the beginning—because I don’t even know when I’m going to get my next food allergy, right?

Yeah, I was really surprised. The only thing I ate before my food allergy was prata. Can you believe it? I can’t believe it. (laughter)

The Widening Blessing of Wisdom: Praise, Not Complaint

Herself and her family— as I mentioned before—the growing and widening benefits of her wisdom and valor. She loves her neighbor as herself, thus fulfilling the law of God.

So finally: praise from our closest people. Usually we get complaint, we get finger-pointing from our closest people—“why you never do this, why you forget this”—but from her is praise.

This is the power of transformation. Only in Christ can we become this new man—so that husbands you get praise from your wives, and wives you get praise from your husbands, rather than complaining, “hey why you forgot that.”

Just to mention verse 29 is a hint that this is not talking about a specific woman alone, because she is said to excel above all. She is lifted above all the rest of the daughters who have also done hayil—very skillful, very valiant, very courageous. She has done above the rest of them who are also good.

Final Verses: What Lasts, What Passes, and What Is Praised

Finally, verse 30 and 31:

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Nothing wrong with the word again. The original word is grace—hen in Hebrew—and most of the time is translated as grace. Grace is a lie, and beauty is vain.

All of us are aging. And I’d like to suggest verse 30 is written because everything is passing away.

For example, if there’s no refreshment later—suddenly I announce I provided refreshment for all of you and all of you have a happy meal before going for visitation—but next day it’s gone, or few hours later it’s gone. So is it a lie in a sense? It’s vanity—it’s passing away.

But the woman who fears the Lord—she shall be praised. Look at her family: her children praise her, husband praise her. She shall be praised by a third party who looks at her works, and her works itself will praise her in verse 31.

And as I mentioned, the strength of the church, the power of the church, is that we all give glory to God whenever we do good works. As we know our assembly has many community projects like St Luke’s visitation, the NY manor, free tuition, Boys’ Brigade, Girls’ Brigade, and so on. But let us give glory to God for all these.

Such is our value—such is the value of the church—above jewels and precious stones, when we do the work of God to His glory.

So we should be known and praised for serving God well, for worshiping Him well, not only in words but also in our actions.

Closing Illustration: Nails in His Hands

Let me close with this.

Many years ago I went with my sister to the US for Christian assembly conference, and the theme was “rise up and build,” taken from Nehemiah chapter 2:18. And this phrase touched me even to today.

When I first met the carpenter of this universe, He had nails in His hands. Again, the emphasis of the hands in the poem of praise in Proverbs 31.

Let us remember forever and gratefully the nails of our Savior, and with His nails He continues to lead us today.

As I recollect so many times our assembly has gone—this was one of my first mission trips—we simply provided the IT tracts and spectacles to the villages in China. And all glory to God. Other times I can share more about all that our assembly has done to God’s glory.

And may we close as we go: Glory to God in the highest. Let’s pray.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, we give You thanks once again for Thy marvelous grace. We truly don’t deserve anything, but You have given us not only material blessing, temporal blessing, but more importantly the spiritual blessing in the Lord Jesus Christ. And even as we continue in this world we pray that You will help us to walk by faith, not by sight. Help us to fight the good fight of faith, the warfare that we have. Help us to be faithful unto Thee, not for our own glory, but for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ, our Lord and husband.

And we give thanks even as we depart from here. We go visitation. We pray that You will help us be prepared to give a word of encouragement, a word of advice to our relatives or friends who may be aging, who may be facing sickness and or other difficulties. We pray that You will help us to be Christ to them and give them hope not only for their temporal problems but also for their life destiny, their life after death, or even if the Lord comes before we die. We give thanks again for this reminder that we are secured in Him and we can look forward to His return. We give thanks and pray in Lord Jesus’ name. Amen.